Last May I posted “50 Rules for Sons” in anticipation of Stephen’s graduation from high school. This year I am posting my “50 Rules for Daughters” for Sophie, 17 years old, and Hallie, 13 years old. There is only one rule which is a duplicate. One of the best things about my post from last year was the responses I received from you with your own rules. If you have any you would like to share, please send them to me. Thank you.
50 Rules for Daughters
1. The world is starving for strong female leaders. Be one.
2. You may have to work twice as hard as your male contemporaries just to stay even with them. Thankfully this will not be a problem.
3. Beware the boyfriend who criticizes you in front of others.
4. Zero tolerance for the boyfriend or husband who is physically, mentally or emotionally abusive.
5. Those who gossip to you gossip about you.
6. You will be judged by the company you keep.
7. Ninety nine percent of all men have two primary obsessions until the age of 35- sports and sex. Indulge the former, not the latter.
8. If you worship physical beauty, you will never be pretty enough.
9. If you worship money, you will never be rich enough.
10. Spend time alone with God in quiet meditation.
11. Do not ever accept an unsolicited drink.
12. Cultivate and celebrate your femininity but don’t manipulate others with it.
13. Do not make your life a permanent electronic billboard.
14. Live the life that is right in front of you.
15. Do not second guess a thoughtful decision to start a family.
16. Do not subjugate your hopes and dreams to those of your boyfriend or husband.
17. Develop your vocabulary. Refrain from using slang, fad or lazy expressions such as “like” or “awesome” or “absolutely.”
18. You have an intuition. As a man I’m not sure how it works, but it does. Trust it.
19. Do not allow your education to separate you from doing what you love.
20. Cultivate a diverse social network. This will lead to opportunities.
21. For maximum creativity, collaborate with others.
22. Be concise. Be precise.
23. There are always strings attached.
24. No elective plastic surgery. Ever.
25. The most important decision you will make each day is where you will focus your energy and attention.
26. You will always learn more by talking less. You will often say more by talking less.
27. Avoid petty disputes and jealousies. You are above that.
28. A broken heart is the burden you will sometimes bear for the beautiful gift of the capacity to love.
29. Don’t get involved in something unless there’s a way you can make it better.
30. Find mentors early. Be one later.
31. Ask first. This does not mean get permission. This means be the first to ask.
32. You will not be your ideal you. This means you will just be you-which is even better.
33. Just because someone chooses you does not mean you have to choose them back.
34. You are the only person who should dictate how far you will go.
35. Gracefully accept chivalry.
36. Until they make them as easy to change as shoes, do not get a tattoo.
37. Today’s misfortune will likely turn out to be tomorrow’s blessing.
38. Making the correct small decisions on a daily basis will allow you to make the correct big decisions.
39. Pause and collect your thoughts before you answer an important question. And try to answer every question in 60 seconds or less.
40. Avoid smoking, cursing and tube tops, especially all three at the same time.
41. Guilt is an unsuitable motivator.
42. If you can make your adversary laugh you will go a long way toward winning them over.
43. When asked your name, state it with confidence. You’ll probably even have to spell it. Likewise, when addressing others, state their name with confidence.
44. Avoid the “opportunity” that is endorsed by a sports metaphor. (i.e. slam dunk, home run, can’t lose).
45. Your body is sacred. Don’t abuse it and don’t let anyone else use it.
46. There are going to be occasions when you are going to have to be a walleyed bitch. Choose them wisely and rarely.
47. Even if it seems as though something goes without saying, if it is important to you, say it anyway.
48. Reinforce success.
49. Everyone else has the same fears you have. What will separate you is the courage to overcome yours.
50. No matter what is in front of you, walk toward it with confidence.
(c) April 2012 by Tim Hoch