Americans love lists. In fact, according to a recent article in The New Yorker, we refuse to read anything that is not in list form.
Paragraphs are just too burdensome.
I like lists. They’re quick and easy. I even have a few ideas for lists that I would like to see. So here is my list of, um, lists. Feel free to add your own.
1. 10 Ways in Which the Lord Could Work a Little Less Mysteriously.
2. Best 10 5 2 Decisions I’ve Made Based on a Gut Feeling.
3. 25 Things on Which I Have a Strong Opinion Without Being Fully Armed of the Facts.
4. 12 Traits of Middle Child Syndrome (but only if you have time because I don’t want to bother you. Is that okay?).
5. 10 Stupidest Things I’ve Ever Said in a Home Depot.
6. 999 Ways that Money Can Buy Happiness.
7. 76 Things That Have Gone Around But Have Not Yet Come Around.
8. Top 9 Alternate Endings to Football Games or Arguments with my Legal Assistant.
9. 13 Rules Suggestions Stupid Ideas for a Happyier Marriage.
10. 67 Things About Which My Wife Need Not Consult Me.
11. 5 Sexiest Haircuts for a 50 Year Old Man.
12. 6 Coolest Button Down Shirts I Own That My Wife Ignorantly Believes Look Identical. (This one would have pictures).
13. 7 Highly Inappropriate Things I Contemplate During Church.
14. 34 Words That Can Have the Same Effect as Cuss Words but Technically Aren’t. (i.e. fustercluck).
15. 23 27 Girls Who Would Now Most Likely Regret Ever Turning Me Down for a Date in College.
16. 7 Instances Where Karma Has Failed to be Enough of a Bitch.
17. 12 Things I Will Attempt to Purchase With Bitcoin in 2014.